The importance of being specific!
This tip addresses one of the most common errors made by newcomers to EFT. Once this is corrected, your results will have much greater consistency and many "difficult cases" will melt away quite easily.
The problem is that most people tend to see their issues through "global glasses." That is, they describe their issues using broad labels which, to them, seem very specific. Examples might be...
"I just don't feel very good about myself."
"My father always abused me."
"My mother never gave me the love I should have had."
"I don't do very well with relationships."
"I'm easily rejected."
Each of these...and countless more like them...are like emotional forests made up of specific trees (negative events) which contribute to the overall problem. Using EFT on the globally stated problem is like trying to chop down an entire forest with one swing of the axe. If you try to address the global problem in this way, you will probably make some progress each time you swing. However, compared to the enormity of the forest, the progress is not likely to be noticed and thus you will probably claim "no result"...or...you might give up and think EFT "doesn't work".
Instead of using EFT on an issue like, "Even though I'm easily rejected....." it is best to break down the globally stated problem into specific events such as....
"Even though my 3rd grade teacher embarrassed me in front of the class....."
"Even though I felt so left out when my father didn't attend my high school graduation...."
"Even though my high school sweetheart said, 'I've grown tired of you'...."
"Even though I was sent to my room for the whole day on Thanksgiving at age 8...."
"Even though Mom told me 'you'll never get married unless you are thin like your sister'...."
These are the TRUE CONTRIBUTORS to the "I'm easily rejected" issue. They represent the FOUNDATION of the problem. The feeling of rejection is but the symptom of these underlying specific causes. Stated differently, if we didn't have these specific causes, how could we possibly feel rejection? The answer is 'we couldn't' because there would be no prior experience by which to measure a current "rejection."
So....we need to neutralize these causes by using EFT on individual trees. When we do, several benefits occur....
1. You can easily recognize whenever EFT has eliminated a negative tree from your forest. You may start with an intensity of 7-10 for a given event and end with an intensity of 0. This is clearly noticeable and thus substantially improves your confidence in the method.
2. Each tree that is removed thins out the forest. This allows you to walk through the forest with more ease instead of consistently bumping into yet another "rejection tree." The sting of rejection becomes less and less.
3. An important GENERALIZATION EFFECT occurs. The various "rejection trees" tend to have some common themes among them so that removing one tree has an effect on the remaining ones. Often, we can remove 5 or 10 trees and then watch the whole forest fall.
I cannot overemphasize the importance of being specific. It often spells the difference between dramatic success and apparent failure.
Tip from Gary Craig's emofree.com website